A toxic relationship could be a serious threat to our physical and mental health. So we have shared the most common toxic relationship signs and examples that you should never ignore.
There’s a thin line between healthy and unhealthy relationships that takes no time to be crossed, especially when you’re head over heels in love with somebody.
Look around, and you will find many toxic relationship examples, screaming at you to notice the signs and take appropriate action, if necessary.
Studies have proven that a noxious relationship can create a significant impact on your mental as well as physical health.
Your closest ones, with whom you spend most of your time, should make you feel happy and content.
We are not saying a relationship doesn’t have its ups and downs. Nobody is perfect, and neither is any relationship, but in the long run, it should be the reason for your joy, not frustration.
Everyone deserves a rich and rewarding relationship, but things change completely when the same relationship starts getting toxic.
- What is a Toxic Relationship?
- Example/Signs of a Toxic Relationship
- 1. Feeling Manipulated or Controlled
- 2. Ignoring Your Needs
- 3. Keeping a Relationship Scorecard
- 4. Holding the Relationship Hostage
- 5. You Hope for Them to Change
- 6. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Around Them
- 7. You Find Yourself Finding Excuses for Their Behavior
- 8. You’re in an Abusive Relationship
- 9. You Avoid Saying What’s on Your Mind
- 10. When “NO” Becomes Unacceptable
- 11. Privacy? No Way
- 12. You Feel Exploited and Neglected
- Final Verdict
What is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship can make you ill and do a lot more damage than you imagine.
Having some moments of selfishness is natural, but when your partner is only taking and not even bothered to give anything back, that’s a red alert.
You identify yourself at the service of somebody else, at a debt of your joy, needs, and feelings.
Every road has bumps. In the same way, every relationship goes through a phase where you have arguments, disagreements on little things, and other issues.
When you feel drained after spending time with your partner, it’s a sign you need to make some changes. Prioritize your mental health issues. Own your past, and change your future.
Here, we are exploring some of the hallmark signs of a toxic relationship for you to recognize in yourself or your partner.
Example/Signs of a Toxic Relationship
1. Feeling Manipulated or Controlled
- Does it happen to you that your partner needs all the details about you all the time?
- Do they often get irritated pretty soon when you don’t answer their texts?
- Do they become frustrated because you’re busy somewhere, and they keep calling you again and again until you talk to them?
These kinds of behavior may seem cute at first, but they also imply the need for control, which is a major contributor to relationship toxicity.
When a person is toxic, they would feel the compulsion to be in control and bug you constantly about where you’re going and what you’re doing.
There might be a chance of them manipulating you into doing things you hate.
2. Ignoring Your Needs
There comes a time when you don’t want to do a particular thing, but your partner wants. Sure, it is a part of adjustments in a relationship, but only when it’s coming from both sides.
When you only find yourself in the adjustment process, that is a clear sign of toxicity.
For example, they planned a vacation for both of you, even when you told them that you can’t miss your father’s birthday. Except for that date, any other date is fine.
But obviously, instead of pointing this out, you agree with whatever they have planned because you don’t want to get into a fight.
So if you are the only one making adjustments all the time, then you are heading toward a toxic relationship.
3. Keeping a Relationship Scorecard
The “Keeping Score” phenomenon is when someone you’re dating continues to blame you for your past mistakes.
It devolves into a battle to see who screwed up the most over the years, and thus, who is most indebted to another.
Mistakes are a part of our life. It’s the basic way of learning and growing. Even the most affectionate and faithful partners might do stupid and hurtful acts at times.
When those things are brought up and discussed over and over, it deliberately kills even the healthiest relationships. At some point, you might even have to face a decision to move on or move out.
Some toxic partners even use it as a way to control and manipulate.
Strong relationships nurture your strengths, not focus on your weaknesses.
If this goes on long enough, rather than solving the main issue, people might spend most of their time trying to be less wrong for each other instead of being more right.
Must read these tips to find the right partner.
4. Holding the Relationship Hostage
Have you, or your partner, ever tried to put your feelings in a way that it feels like you’re blackmailing the other person for no reason?
One simple criticism or complaint threatens the commitment of a relationship as a whole.
For instance, if someone feels like your mood is irritating these days, instead of saying, “I feel like you’re being unfair to me by being irritated at me at all times,” they will say, “I just cannot be with someone who is this irritated at all times.”
Holding the relationship hostage leads to huge amounts of unnecessary drama and blackmail. Even the smallest arguments can lead to a perceived commitment crisis.
Both persons must realize that threatening the entire relationship is not necessary to communicate your thoughts and feelings effectively.
Without honesty, there would come a time when you will start suppressing your thoughts and feelings, directing you to an environment with nothing but manipulation and distrust.
5. You Hope for Them to Change
For a healthy and functional relationship, a frequent series of bad behaviors can act as deal breakers.
If you’re staying in a relationship with the potential hope that they are behaving for a specific reason and will change soon, you’re putting yourself at a greater risk.
For a relationship to be toxic, not only does it require specific behavior from one person, but giving reasons for the same is another.
You just cannot stick around, hoping for them to change.
If they want to, they will do it without you having to say it. You’re making things tough for yourself with each passing minute.
Let us tell you something. When you’re in love, your judgment becomes cloudy, and you are putting so much of your faith into something that will never come, no matter how many people around you warn you the same.
It’s a beautiful habit to find the positive aspects of a relationship, but they shouldn’t be your only reason to stay in it if you’re facing toxicity in other areas.
6. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Around Them
You must have heard this statement many times, “Love me for who I am, not for what you want me to be.“
The same goes for your relationship too. If you don’t feel like yourself in front of your significant other, then something is terribly wrong.
Put some thoughts into your current relationship. At some points, they might say things that make you wonder if they know you at all.
For example, if you hear them saying, ‘Hey, I didn’t know you were this kinda girl,’ or ‘You won’t be able to understand that, anyway,’ they’re indirectly telling you the kind of person they want you to be by making assumptions, rather than loving for who you are.
Thus, it’s important for you to feel and be yourself in front of your partner because pretending to be what you’re not won’t do any better and won’t take you anywhere.
7. You Find Yourself Finding Excuses for Their Behavior
Think about it. Have you ever tried to justify your partner’s actions, be it their lack of empathy, being emotionally unavailable, or being ignorant towards you in front of others?
If so, then it’s a red alert for toxicity.
Of course, every person can have stressful days, but that’s not an excuse to never listen to you and your feelings.
It will be extremely difficult for you to continue a fulfilling relationship if your partner is being totally ignorant of their responsibilities towards you and your future.
Thus, keep a close eye on your own behavior too. If you’re constantly finding yourself giving lame and stupid excuses, it’s time to sit and have a conversation.
Try this to gain confidence to talk to the girl you like.
8. You’re in an Abusive Relationship
Most people don’t realize the difference between a toxic relationship and an outright abusive one.
If you ever feel that the person you’re dating goes out of the way to hurt your self-esteem or make you feel down or trapped in a relationship, it’s time for you to pay attention to where your relationship is heading.
For example, if you often get to hear comments such as, “You cannot find anyone better than me,” or “Nobody else will adjust with you as much as I do,” are clear indications of a trap that you’re being put into, so as to make you believe you’re not well deserving.
This clear sign of toxicity is going to ruin your life much faster than you think.
Get rid of toxicity, and seek professional help if required. The longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the harder it will be for you to remove the scars it will leave.
9. You Avoid Saying What’s on Your Mind
Some significant needs are a crucial part of any good relationship. Some of them are the big ones, such as emotional connection, appreciation, love, and mutual understanding.
When such needs are ignored, a person decides to stay quiet sometimes to avoid any stupid arguments, which, in turn, can be the major reason for misunderstandings.
Remember, once in a while, it’s important to talk about the things that bother you, and if you are constantly avoiding the same, to save yourself from the accusations of being needy, insecure, or jealous, you’re making a big mistake.
And worse, if you keep on going, it will be toxic for you and your relationship.
10. When “NO” Becomes Unacceptable
The word ‘No’ has as much importance in a relationship as any other.
Even for the sake of love, do not strike it out from your dictionary, no matter how much your relationship means to you.
Healthy relationships have the compromising as well as adjusting part.
You both have to acknowledge each other’s needs and wants, along with paying due attention to their self-respect.
If your partner loves you and cares for you, he or she will understand that you don’t have to agree with everything they say, and you are allowed to have your own opinion.
If they’re only accepting that everything is ‘Yes,’ it’s probably time to reconsider your decision to continue the relationship or not.
It’s better to be free rather than be a slave.
11. Privacy? No Way
“Oh, you want to go out with your friends tonight? Why? You don’t like staying home?” Have you ever heard something similar?
Unless you’ve done something that makes your partner insecure, you deserve to be trusted.
For a healthy relationship, every person needs to have some personal space, just for themselves, that makes them miss you more and realize what their life would be without you.
If you’re with someone who regularly checks your phone calls, your chats, or even worse, stays in touch with your friends just to know where you are all the time, it shows a huge level of toxicity and manipulative control.
You have your life to live, and if they can’t trust you, being in such a relationship is meaningless.
12. You Feel Exploited and Neglected
Every person needs nurturing. If your partner fails to honor your needs and makes you feel neglected constantly, things won’t go as you expected them to be.
A relationship is about you both. You two must care about each other and acknowledge each other’s feelings.
If you find yourself doing all the hard work every time, you’re not in a healthy relationship. There are chances that you are not only being ignored but exploited too.
Thus, this is a clear-cut sign of the toxicity of a relationship, which will leave you drained emotionally and mentally.
So take care of yourself because you’re important too.
Thus, these are the most evident signs of a toxic relationship.
In the honeymoon phase of a relationship, everything feels so amazing. But with time, things start to fade away.
We hope anyone never has to face such a time in a relationship, but if you do, then remember to keep yourself a priority.
You are a human being, too, and deserve to be loved just the way you are.
You might have to compromise on a few things, which is completely fine. But when all of your happiness is compromised, and you feel mentally tortured, then it’s better to have a serious talk or end the toxic relationship.
Follow these tips to make relationship strong with your boyfriend.
So these are the signs and examples of a toxic relationship.
Have you ever experienced such signs in your relationship? Do share your experience with us.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comment section.